I’m writing this note to myself because in the next 6 days, 6 months, 6 years or 60 years for that matter I want to remind myself of the resilience of a child.
The resilience of never being too shy to learn, speaking the truth as they see it, being able to forget the bad as though it has never happened but walking away with the lesson that was to be learnt.
I want myself to remember the feeling of accomplishment that comes with pushing personal boundaries and also the gift of remaining true to myself. The importance of treating the body like the temple that God intended for it to be and knowing the wisdom of “a minute on the lips but a lifetime on the hips.”
“Remember where you came from, what you have accomplished and look forward to the joys of future accomplishments. Take the good with the bad and as with all things in life also remember that it can’t go bad forever. Seasons do change and so far you've done pretty well”
In closing understand that in life: “Sometimes you’re the pigeon, other days the statue” author unknown.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
The last lecture
After a year’s worth of work pressure, pushing new boundaries, remaining dedicated and maybe a silent tear here and there the wish to sit in “that” last lecture has been colossal.
I dreamt of it, prayed for it and told myself rhetorical anecdotes of “this year has and will pass.”
Now on the precipice of my studies ending, I find myself more than a little nostalgic. I ask “will I still be pushing my learning boundaries?” and “what must I do to fill in the time productively?”
In hindsight, the things that forces one to learn the most and present the most difficult challenge strangely help you to progress the most. During this learning curve the effort is very much unappreciated but the memory of pushing personal boundaries and the growth that comes with it are remembered for a life time.
I dreamt of it, prayed for it and told myself rhetorical anecdotes of “this year has and will pass.”
Now on the precipice of my studies ending, I find myself more than a little nostalgic. I ask “will I still be pushing my learning boundaries?” and “what must I do to fill in the time productively?”
In hindsight, the things that forces one to learn the most and present the most difficult challenge strangely help you to progress the most. During this learning curve the effort is very much unappreciated but the memory of pushing personal boundaries and the growth that comes with it are remembered for a life time.
Siblings
My Psychology lecturer would be over the moon at my reflection on the study of habits being pre ordained by DNA “nature” or by the “nurture” of the environment and parents.
What makes one sibling the “black sheep” of the family starting night clubs at the age of 12, smoking, drinking and making it a mission to disobey parents? This VS the one motivated to carve out a life with finances and position etc.
It’s a question that’s baffled me for a very long time and I don’t see an answer to it in-sight in the near future.
If anyone can enlighten me, I’m open to suggestions.
What makes one sibling the “black sheep” of the family starting night clubs at the age of 12, smoking, drinking and making it a mission to disobey parents? This VS the one motivated to carve out a life with finances and position etc.
It’s a question that’s baffled me for a very long time and I don’t see an answer to it in-sight in the near future.
If anyone can enlighten me, I’m open to suggestions.
Watch this space.
Watch this space for the graduation of Tasmin Tania Kriel. A mantra of “I’m going to get my degree before.....” will now be turned into a reality.
Watch this space for everything that comes with it. A better understanding, new skills, a new social and working circle and of course don’t forget that deserved salary.
Watch this space for... I guess that you will have to keep on watching. I’m not prepared to give away the whole picture at this point.
Watch this space for everything that comes with it. A better understanding, new skills, a new social and working circle and of course don’t forget that deserved salary.
Watch this space for... I guess that you will have to keep on watching. I’m not prepared to give away the whole picture at this point.
My favourite Cat in the Hat book is...
“Some of my best friends are white” because it had me laughing from cover to cover. The writer, Fred Khumalo, wrote this self depreciating book in such a way that I either laughed or silently shook my head while reading words that echoed so many truths.
It took my thoughts of “but I thoughts I was the only one” to “ok, so I’m not the only one who noticed.”
What I really loved the most about this book was that it translated my subconscious thoughts and feelings into actual phrases.
It took my thoughts of “but I thoughts I was the only one” to “ok, so I’m not the only one who noticed.”
What I really loved the most about this book was that it translated my subconscious thoughts and feelings into actual phrases.
Acceptance
Life is really a very strange thing. You can hate someone with all you body in mind at one point in time and then time, with all its healing properties, could make your adversary your study mate, shopping friend or even your life saver.
I have come to realise that in order to survive in life. I found three quotes that convey my thoughts in this blog.
“Acceptance and tolerance and forgiveness, those are life-altering lessons.”
Jessica Lange
"Acceptance is not love. You love a person because he or she has lovable traits, but you accept everybody just because they're alive and human."
Albert Ellis
"Acceptance of one's life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from the struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices."
Paul Tournier
It’s all about getting use to the fact that life will inevitably change.
I have come to realise that in order to survive in life. I found three quotes that convey my thoughts in this blog.
“Acceptance and tolerance and forgiveness, those are life-altering lessons.”
Jessica Lange
"Acceptance is not love. You love a person because he or she has lovable traits, but you accept everybody just because they're alive and human."
Albert Ellis
"Acceptance of one's life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from the struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices."
Paul Tournier
It’s all about getting use to the fact that life will inevitably change.
Why I have conversations?
The reasons behind why I have conversations is so broad. They range from my basic need as a human being to feel part of a the world. They are also to gain food for thought when I have my quiet moments.
In a more roundabout way, I have conversations in the hope of either confirming something, to learn more , promote something or / and to gain understanding.
The conversations that I enjoy the most are the ones I that I have with my best friend as it is, most of the time, based on shared interest.
In a more roundabout way, I have conversations in the hope of either confirming something, to learn more , promote something or / and to gain understanding.
The conversations that I enjoy the most are the ones I that I have with my best friend as it is, most of the time, based on shared interest.
Surprise!
Oh how I love surprises. The more wrapping on it and the bigger the bow makes opening it even better. I’m not sure if I have to grow out of this excitement but for now I love the feeling of being a kid when receiving a gift.
Something that still gives me this feeling of excited anticipation is when I see a made up Christmas tree. I can’t even buy Christmas presents too far in advance as I’ll make an excuse to give them to the intended person, just to see their reaction.
Shopping is a horror during the Christmas silly season but it’s worth the sacrifice of seeing a smile on someone’s face and the sheer light of pleasure lighting up their eyes.
I really do love surprises. While writing this blog I became excite so now is definitely not the to grow up in this regard.
Something that still gives me this feeling of excited anticipation is when I see a made up Christmas tree. I can’t even buy Christmas presents too far in advance as I’ll make an excuse to give them to the intended person, just to see their reaction.
Shopping is a horror during the Christmas silly season but it’s worth the sacrifice of seeing a smile on someone’s face and the sheer light of pleasure lighting up their eyes.
I really do love surprises. While writing this blog I became excite so now is definitely not the to grow up in this regard.
Bucket list of 100 things to do before I die
I dream of leaving a legacy behind for my family so in order to do this, I figure that I need to place focus on the following to do list, which is in no specific order:
1. Building an empire
2. Gaining financial freedom
3. Gain financial security
4. Spending more time in nature
5. Take up a cooking class in food cuisine and chocolate
6. Doing flower arrangements
7. Take up a pottery class
8. A course in making jewellery
9. Building a garden that will serve as my sanctuary
10. Learn to speak French and Spanish...
My list goes on and on but the most important thing to do is to instil emotional intelligence, confidence, a sense of “laughing at yourself” and a so much more in my children before I die.
1. Building an empire
2. Gaining financial freedom
3. Gain financial security
4. Spending more time in nature
5. Take up a cooking class in food cuisine and chocolate
6. Doing flower arrangements
7. Take up a pottery class
8. A course in making jewellery
9. Building a garden that will serve as my sanctuary
10. Learn to speak French and Spanish...
My list goes on and on but the most important thing to do is to instil emotional intelligence, confidence, a sense of “laughing at yourself” and a so much more in my children before I die.
God’s creation
I recently started investing in beautifying my home with plants. I bought some small ones that flower for the entire year, others that flower for a season and some that provide a bit of a greenery.
It started out as a simple exercise but I discovered something that I never gave much thought to. I always thought that looking after plants was for older people like my mother and grandparents. Now I see the benefits of, not only, beauty but an air of peace and anticipation that comes with it.
I realised that I actually feared looking after plants in case they died. Now watching them grow it actually brings a feeling of accomplishment.
I’m quite impressed with the fact that they have survived this long. I even look forward to watching them grow measuring their growth as if they were children.
A plant is seemingly such a simple thing but the elders bought into the benefits of growing them big time.
I think these benefits that are a bit lost on my generation.
It started out as a simple exercise but I discovered something that I never gave much thought to. I always thought that looking after plants was for older people like my mother and grandparents. Now I see the benefits of, not only, beauty but an air of peace and anticipation that comes with it.
I realised that I actually feared looking after plants in case they died. Now watching them grow it actually brings a feeling of accomplishment.
I’m quite impressed with the fact that they have survived this long. I even look forward to watching them grow measuring their growth as if they were children.
A plant is seemingly such a simple thing but the elders bought into the benefits of growing them big time.
I think these benefits that are a bit lost on my generation.
My big fat BIG dream
My big fat BIG dream is to have the following elements in my life
Health
Happiness
Wisdom
To be prosperous in my spirituality
Added to the above I also dream of having
Wealth
My big fat BIG dream is to have all of the above in place.
Health
Happiness
Wisdom
To be prosperous in my spirituality
Added to the above I also dream of having
Wealth
My big fat BIG dream is to have all of the above in place.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
The genius of a big business
Why is that when we see a good brand at a cheap rate then we think SCAM. When we see a cheap product with a ridiculous price tag on it, then we part with our money.
Even worse, we see a huge company and believe that we will receive a trustworthy reliable service etc, etc, etc. Then in hindsight the service turns out to be awful and the experience leaves behind sense of hopelessness in your empty pocket.
I have recently been witness to a situation where I have gained respect for smaller businesses. The ones who try super hard to make it in this world but spend half their time trying to allay customer fears of being SCAMMED.
Maybe they deserve a hearing?
Even worse, we see a huge company and believe that we will receive a trustworthy reliable service etc, etc, etc. Then in hindsight the service turns out to be awful and the experience leaves behind sense of hopelessness in your empty pocket.
I have recently been witness to a situation where I have gained respect for smaller businesses. The ones who try super hard to make it in this world but spend half their time trying to allay customer fears of being SCAMMED.
Maybe they deserve a hearing?
Conventional is a good fall back, isn't it?
I came across a few thoughts about being conventional. Some say that because change is inevitable, learn to appreciate it. Others see convention as a good thing as it offers a bit of structure to everyday life and helps people to meet goals.
The most interesting of all, was a blogger who referred to convention as a way of keeping people from climbing the corporate ladder. To illustrate he uses the following analogy. If you were good at administration and didn't get the new promotion, the company is not at a loss and neither are you. Just because you didn't get the marketing manager's post doesn't mean that you can't continue doing administrative things? This usually means that you won't be getting that increase either.
This example made me realise that a balance has to be stuck between creative thinking and being able to do tasks / administration. If your focus is only on being creative, then you won't get the work done. If you stick to being conventional in an administrative sort of way, then your talents could be overlooked and you could stay in an administrative role till infinity.
It's a matter of working at your personal brand and to keep projecting a 360 degree approach to life and work. This will help keep you in mind for that next project or position.
The most interesting of all, was a blogger who referred to convention as a way of keeping people from climbing the corporate ladder. To illustrate he uses the following analogy. If you were good at administration and didn't get the new promotion, the company is not at a loss and neither are you. Just because you didn't get the marketing manager's post doesn't mean that you can't continue doing administrative things? This usually means that you won't be getting that increase either.
This example made me realise that a balance has to be stuck between creative thinking and being able to do tasks / administration. If your focus is only on being creative, then you won't get the work done. If you stick to being conventional in an administrative sort of way, then your talents could be overlooked and you could stay in an administrative role till infinity.
It's a matter of working at your personal brand and to keep projecting a 360 degree approach to life and work. This will help keep you in mind for that next project or position.
Friday, October 15, 2010
And now ...the time is here
What can I say...it's been real... so glad that it's over...wishing it will never end?
I'm at a speech loss. Writing my last required blog for 2010 is much harder than I thought. I will, inevitably be jumping off my seat at some point in time but for now tears are wanting to jump out of my tear ducts.
I might or might not be visiting this space again. Looking back I can't believe that I wrote so well. It's given me a feeling of freedom in many other ways. I am now able to voice my thoughts and like with blogs, it doesn't matter what the next person says or thinks about it.
What matters is the fact that I have an opinion and I can voice it because....it matters.
Here's to 2010 and everything that it encompassed. I might just visit this space in the future after all.
I'm at a speech loss. Writing my last required blog for 2010 is much harder than I thought. I will, inevitably be jumping off my seat at some point in time but for now tears are wanting to jump out of my tear ducts.
I might or might not be visiting this space again. Looking back I can't believe that I wrote so well. It's given me a feeling of freedom in many other ways. I am now able to voice my thoughts and like with blogs, it doesn't matter what the next person says or thinks about it.
What matters is the fact that I have an opinion and I can voice it because....it matters.
Here's to 2010 and everything that it encompassed. I might just visit this space in the future after all.
You cannot chase two rabbits at the same time
I'm a bit two minded on this statement. Chasing to many dreams at one point in time might or might not ever get to that pot of gold in the end.
When following many disciplines in life you can look at it in the following ways:
a) I will gain experience in various fields at the same time
b) By focusing all my energy on one career, discipline etc I will get to my goal of being a doctor, professor, specialist sooner.
The question I need to ask is: Do I want to be a Jack of all trades and master of none. I could also be happy to focus on various things and take longer to become a specialist
Alternatively, I might want to become a specialist sooner rather than later?
When following many disciplines in life you can look at it in the following ways:
a) I will gain experience in various fields at the same time
b) By focusing all my energy on one career, discipline etc I will get to my goal of being a doctor, professor, specialist sooner.
The question I need to ask is: Do I want to be a Jack of all trades and master of none. I could also be happy to focus on various things and take longer to become a specialist
Alternatively, I might want to become a specialist sooner rather than later?
The looming "free" time
Now that my studies are on the verge of being completed, I'm anxious about what I will do with the "free" time next year.
The year was a constant state of moaning about the workload, trying to cope and most of the time feeling sorry for myself etc etc etc
Now I'm worried that I won't be utilising my time wisely. I find that the busier things are the more productive I am.
My thoughts wonder to pottery, flower arrangement, jewelry making, chocolate making......
My new motto...Just keep busy and use time.
The year was a constant state of moaning about the workload, trying to cope and most of the time feeling sorry for myself etc etc etc
Now I'm worried that I won't be utilising my time wisely. I find that the busier things are the more productive I am.
My thoughts wonder to pottery, flower arrangement, jewelry making, chocolate making......
My new motto...Just keep busy and use time.
“Nothing is more dangerous than an idea, when you only have one idea”
I think it all boils down to one statement:
"Two heads are better than one."
Take your idea and flesh it out with trusted friends and colleagues. You never know, it might become even better.
"Two heads are better than one."
Take your idea and flesh it out with trusted friends and colleagues. You never know, it might become even better.
The perfect shoe....nightmare
This is it! Thanks for the quote MJ.
I am tired of seeing that perfect shoe in the shop. The one that you mentally fit into your teenie weenie budget. The one that fills your dreams and takes up every spare moment with "I can wear it with that or this." The one that fits so perfectly in the shop and the comfort factor is out of this world.
The one that when you wear to that special occasion... hurts like a pincer.
Is there ever a happy medium between between beauty and comfort?
If anyone has experienced this, please feel free to share the advise with me.
I am tired of seeing that perfect shoe in the shop. The one that you mentally fit into your teenie weenie budget. The one that fills your dreams and takes up every spare moment with "I can wear it with that or this." The one that fits so perfectly in the shop and the comfort factor is out of this world.
The one that when you wear to that special occasion... hurts like a pincer.
Is there ever a happy medium between between beauty and comfort?
If anyone has experienced this, please feel free to share the advise with me.
Have you figured out your second head fake yet?
My first reaction to this topic was a frown on my forehead and a few expletives followed.
I finally discovered that the saying simply (translated into English) had something to do with positive thought reinforcement. An example would be if you had a wee and really had to go to the loo but as luck would have it there is never a loo around at that pressing moment.
It might work to say "I don't have a wee, I don't have a wee, I don't have a wee" or maybe not.
My second head fake is all about getting healthy and losing the weight. Mind you I'm still trying to figure out how the kilos got there in the first place...seriously. So here's to my head fake "I'm going to be a size 12 again, I'm going to be a size 12 again" etc Let me give the mind over matter a chance.
I finally discovered that the saying simply (translated into English) had something to do with positive thought reinforcement. An example would be if you had a wee and really had to go to the loo but as luck would have it there is never a loo around at that pressing moment.
It might work to say "I don't have a wee, I don't have a wee, I don't have a wee" or maybe not.
My second head fake is all about getting healthy and losing the weight. Mind you I'm still trying to figure out how the kilos got there in the first place...seriously. So here's to my head fake "I'm going to be a size 12 again, I'm going to be a size 12 again" etc Let me give the mind over matter a chance.
Friday, September 10, 2010
The importance of me time
Ever notice how spending 10 minutes extra in a bubble seems to be the equivalent of a mini holiday?
I miss the days of watching movies, doing absolutely nothing, walking on the beach and or walking aimlessly in a mall.
I wonder if I need to focus my energy on saving up for that week long break away or if I need to focus on the simple mini holidays.
Maybe it's time to do both. Here goes the cucumber slices on my eyes and kicking up my feet in anticipation for the long break away.
I miss the days of watching movies, doing absolutely nothing, walking on the beach and or walking aimlessly in a mall.
I wonder if I need to focus my energy on saving up for that week long break away or if I need to focus on the simple mini holidays.
Maybe it's time to do both. Here goes the cucumber slices on my eyes and kicking up my feet in anticipation for the long break away.
How hard is it to follow instructions?
Following instructions can be very hard.
No matter how clearly defined the instruction, there should always be room for questions and answers.
During the industrial age, I suppose that, the result was determined by practicing one solution. The methodology of solving a problem was determined by the manager and the whole process was micro managed.
Today people are encouraged to do problem solving on their own as long as they obtain the desired results.
Maybe focus, in certain cases, need to be placed on the results required and the methodology left to the person who is solving the problem.
No matter how clearly defined the instruction, there should always be room for questions and answers.
During the industrial age, I suppose that, the result was determined by practicing one solution. The methodology of solving a problem was determined by the manager and the whole process was micro managed.
Today people are encouraged to do problem solving on their own as long as they obtain the desired results.
Maybe focus, in certain cases, need to be placed on the results required and the methodology left to the person who is solving the problem.
How important is being branded?
I am fascinated with how some people are all about brands. Any product, service etc is only recognised when it has a brand name attached. You either have this type of clothing, that type of shoe, do your hair at that salon and your lip gloss drips with brand imprints all over the packaging.
In most cases you will have to break the poor piggy bank to make sure you get your hands on that branded item.
Brand name aside, does the product serve a real purpose i.e. adds to your health, makes you look and / or feel better and does not make you break into the bank?
Anyone is entitled to good living but half the time people thrive on the peception that the brand is good quality. Most labels that I have seen do not justify the pricing. After all is said and done I have seen the same style item in both low end and high end stores say "made in China."
If an item or service does not serve my needs those shouldn't brand houses need to pay me for even wearing them?
In most cases you will have to break the poor piggy bank to make sure you get your hands on that branded item.
Brand name aside, does the product serve a real purpose i.e. adds to your health, makes you look and / or feel better and does not make you break into the bank?
Anyone is entitled to good living but half the time people thrive on the peception that the brand is good quality. Most labels that I have seen do not justify the pricing. After all is said and done I have seen the same style item in both low end and high end stores say "made in China."
If an item or service does not serve my needs those shouldn't brand houses need to pay me for even wearing them?
Friday, August 20, 2010
Andy Warhol said, “In the future everybody will be world famous for fifteen
minutes.” You can’t choose the 15 minutes but why would you be world famous?
Everyone might be famous but not in the classic sense of the word. Generally, to be famous you have to be known by thousands of people, your story and your image has to be out “there”, people want to talk to you and sometimes they would want to be like you. Up until the 90’s this was the case for movie and music stars.
Today, with the internet, applications such as Facebook, Twitter and blogs make it possible for people have up to thousands of followers, “followers” want to talk to them from all over the world and in a sense they can or do become a brand.
This is not so different from the 90’s accept that more people are "famous" and standing out is a lot harder. People have more icons to follow.
So, if being seen by thousands and being in demand feeds your alter ego, then here’s to your 15 seconds of fame. I hope you recognise it when it comes around.
minutes.” You can’t choose the 15 minutes but why would you be world famous?
Everyone might be famous but not in the classic sense of the word. Generally, to be famous you have to be known by thousands of people, your story and your image has to be out “there”, people want to talk to you and sometimes they would want to be like you. Up until the 90’s this was the case for movie and music stars.
Today, with the internet, applications such as Facebook, Twitter and blogs make it possible for people have up to thousands of followers, “followers” want to talk to them from all over the world and in a sense they can or do become a brand.
This is not so different from the 90’s accept that more people are "famous" and standing out is a lot harder. People have more icons to follow.
So, if being seen by thousands and being in demand feeds your alter ego, then here’s to your 15 seconds of fame. I hope you recognise it when it comes around.
The power of music
One Sunday evening I decided to tune into one of the local radio stations. To my surprise the music compilation turned out to be so good that I forgot about the 8pm movie and refused to turn off the radio.
While swaying to the tunes of various genres, I was transported to a time where everything was possible in the unknown. I danced with the memories of family members who had passed away. I remembered those who came into my life for a glimpse period of time and I remebered emotions of the good and the bad times.
It was a truly celestial experience.
After the the time slot had finished I felt euphoric and at peace at the same time. It was just a good feeling to have made time for the memories.
The music had the power to cleanse my soul.It even set the mood for a great week.
While swaying to the tunes of various genres, I was transported to a time where everything was possible in the unknown. I danced with the memories of family members who had passed away. I remembered those who came into my life for a glimpse period of time and I remebered emotions of the good and the bad times.
It was a truly celestial experience.
After the the time slot had finished I felt euphoric and at peace at the same time. It was just a good feeling to have made time for the memories.
The music had the power to cleanse my soul.It even set the mood for a great week.
A skill set called leadership
I read an adapted version of “The last lecture of Randy Pausch” on a site called Lifecatalyst. He likens the ideal leadership skill to that of Captain James T Kirk, Captain of the Enterprise.
In case anyone was wondering, this write up refers to the Star Trek series. He mentions that, James T Kirk, as Captain of the ship never claimed to know everything. He trusted his officers i.e. Dr Spock for logical insight, Scotty for his ingenuity with engines and mechanics and, another of his trusted friends, Dr McCoy as the chief Doctor of the ship.
His “Captainship” came from the fact that he could recognise the talent in those individuals and make all of their gifts work in harmony during periods of stress. At other times they were all just able to enjoy the company of each other while working on future plans.
He had the vision and confidence to implement the necessary and whether or not there were disagreements. This enabled this group of people to evolve into a dynamic, inseparable group.
This leads me to believe that you don’t have to know everything to be a leader.
Being able to mobilize talent, inspire others, carry out a vision and being able to encourage every person to do their best through disagreements, makes a leader exceptional.
In case anyone was wondering, this write up refers to the Star Trek series. He mentions that, James T Kirk, as Captain of the ship never claimed to know everything. He trusted his officers i.e. Dr Spock for logical insight, Scotty for his ingenuity with engines and mechanics and, another of his trusted friends, Dr McCoy as the chief Doctor of the ship.
His “Captainship” came from the fact that he could recognise the talent in those individuals and make all of their gifts work in harmony during periods of stress. At other times they were all just able to enjoy the company of each other while working on future plans.
He had the vision and confidence to implement the necessary and whether or not there were disagreements. This enabled this group of people to evolve into a dynamic, inseparable group.
This leads me to believe that you don’t have to know everything to be a leader.
Being able to mobilize talent, inspire others, carry out a vision and being able to encourage every person to do their best through disagreements, makes a leader exceptional.
Frank Zappa
This composer, musician and song writer made quite a few interesting comments. His quote “Rock journalism is people who can’t write interviewing people who can’t talk for people who can’t read” resonates with me.
I think that it is true. Every good journalist worth their weight in gold suffered at least once from the “Rock journalism” syndrome.
To their advantage, they stuck it out with the age old of art of practice and trying over and over again. Today they can write while interviewing people or speak for people who can't read. If they were lucky they might have had good mentors to serve as a guide.
On the other hand, “Rock journalism” was never overcome by others. Maybe it was just a sign to say that this is not the career for you?
You are either gifted to be a journalist...or not.
Be blest.
I think that it is true. Every good journalist worth their weight in gold suffered at least once from the “Rock journalism” syndrome.
To their advantage, they stuck it out with the age old of art of practice and trying over and over again. Today they can write while interviewing people or speak for people who can't read. If they were lucky they might have had good mentors to serve as a guide.
On the other hand, “Rock journalism” was never overcome by others. Maybe it was just a sign to say that this is not the career for you?
You are either gifted to be a journalist...or not.
Be blest.
Friday, August 6, 2010
And I'm aspiring to ...
I just received the latest copy of a leading industry magazine that is all about featuring "real" people on the cover. There is no air brushing or, by the looks of it, no make-up artist either. This is one of the reasons why I do like the magazine.
This month the magazine features a female and presses on about her, and in general, female achievements. I am, however, left with a few questions about making my mark as a female in the media industry. Why is it that (in a number of cases) leading female journalist, editors, writers etc look tired, with limp hair, skin that is not well maintained and teeth stains as a result of either smoking or consuming red wine or a combination of the two?
I ask myself, if it is so great to achieve in this cut throat industry, what is the kick back. From the looks of it there is much to be desired from the quality of life that comes with these achievements.
I'm not talking about looking like a model but is being an achiever all about stressing, combating that with smoking or drinking or some other lethal habit. Is it about working hard to earn more money with no holidays or spa treatments, even though I can afford it? All because my life evolves around deadlines?
Where is the quality of life in that?
This month the magazine features a female and presses on about her, and in general, female achievements. I am, however, left with a few questions about making my mark as a female in the media industry. Why is it that (in a number of cases) leading female journalist, editors, writers etc look tired, with limp hair, skin that is not well maintained and teeth stains as a result of either smoking or consuming red wine or a combination of the two?
I ask myself, if it is so great to achieve in this cut throat industry, what is the kick back. From the looks of it there is much to be desired from the quality of life that comes with these achievements.
I'm not talking about looking like a model but is being an achiever all about stressing, combating that with smoking or drinking or some other lethal habit. Is it about working hard to earn more money with no holidays or spa treatments, even though I can afford it? All because my life evolves around deadlines?
Where is the quality of life in that?
Monday, August 2, 2010
Simplicity
I find it amazing that no matter what great things we achieve in life we still crave the basic needs. We still appreciate a hug or someone saying I love you, someone making us a sandwich or being surprised by a crumpled note on the fridge saying something cheesy like "You're special."
The act of living and making daily experiences seem to be remembered better when they are shared with others through a laugh, a tear, a look of understanding or just a simple acknowledgment of an achievement.
No, we don't need a pat on the back and neither do we need permissions etc for everything that we do, but sharing an experience with someone does make the memory much more sweeter.
The act of living and making daily experiences seem to be remembered better when they are shared with others through a laugh, a tear, a look of understanding or just a simple acknowledgment of an achievement.
No, we don't need a pat on the back and neither do we need permissions etc for everything that we do, but sharing an experience with someone does make the memory much more sweeter.
My top 200 achievements
My life, when looking back, has thousands if not millions achievements if I add up the all the daily successes.
The ones that stand out the most are as follows:
Matriculating
Gaining National Diploma
Paying for my tuition
Working and living abroad
Earning a fat cheque of close to R20 000 before I was 25
Purchasing my first car cash
Buying my first flat
Getting married
Experiencing the gift of a child
Completing my degree (the first year without a child and the second time around with a child)
The mammoth task of building a house
Purchasing goods on a cash basis
Holding various top positions
Turning 30.... and the list goes on and on and on.
The one sentence that comes to mind is "Thank you God for granting me the strength and making this possible"
I doubt that this is the end but it's nice to have a fuzzy feeling of accomplishment when looking back
The ones that stand out the most are as follows:
Matriculating
Gaining National Diploma
Paying for my tuition
Working and living abroad
Earning a fat cheque of close to R20 000 before I was 25
Purchasing my first car cash
Buying my first flat
Getting married
Experiencing the gift of a child
Completing my degree (the first year without a child and the second time around with a child)
The mammoth task of building a house
Purchasing goods on a cash basis
Holding various top positions
Turning 30.... and the list goes on and on and on.
The one sentence that comes to mind is "Thank you God for granting me the strength and making this possible"
I doubt that this is the end but it's nice to have a fuzzy feeling of accomplishment when looking back
Technology or death?
Over a five day period, I was the victim of a "computerless" desk. The first day felt like a holiday, I must admit, but by day two "task completion" worry set in. Added to this was the stress of a new floor plan activation and voila, double stress and disorientation became the order of my days.
Now, as I'm sitting with a backlog of work including my studies, I wonder if the future of technology is not to cripple mankind. As I called up people, in a futile attempt to feel as though I was completing tasks, I was constantly requested to "send me an e-mail". I was then left to be professional as it doesn't help to call up someone regarding a proposal and only send them a document 3-4 days later.
In my short experience without a PC, the telephone has become a desk ornament and e-mail technology has become an all encompassing wave, whether we like it or not. So for the person sitting without a computer connection, my sympathies lie with you.
Now, as I'm sitting with a backlog of work including my studies, I wonder if the future of technology is not to cripple mankind. As I called up people, in a futile attempt to feel as though I was completing tasks, I was constantly requested to "send me an e-mail". I was then left to be professional as it doesn't help to call up someone regarding a proposal and only send them a document 3-4 days later.
In my short experience without a PC, the telephone has become a desk ornament and e-mail technology has become an all encompassing wave, whether we like it or not. So for the person sitting without a computer connection, my sympathies lie with you.
What motivates me?
My motivation cannot be pin pointed to one specific thing. It rather stems from this little voice inside of me that gains inspiration from a multitude of things. It is this little voice that pushes me to go on every day, try new things, set new goals and to keep on achieving them.
Personal experiences, and that of others, feeds this little voice. The good experiences motivates me to keep on going, while the bad experiences forces me to stick to a goal in order to avoid experiencing them again or to ensure that I don't go through the same bad experience like someone else.
Why I am motivated is much more simpler to explain, as it all boils down to the age old task of survival. It is the survival and succeeding at a career, motherhood, as a sister, wife, colleague and friend. No matter how many times I can fail at something, I somehow still remain motivated to go on in this circle of life.
I remember a quote that I read many years ago and it was something along these lines "Despite the high cost of living, it is still quite popular" author unknown.
Personal experiences, and that of others, feeds this little voice. The good experiences motivates me to keep on going, while the bad experiences forces me to stick to a goal in order to avoid experiencing them again or to ensure that I don't go through the same bad experience like someone else.
Why I am motivated is much more simpler to explain, as it all boils down to the age old task of survival. It is the survival and succeeding at a career, motherhood, as a sister, wife, colleague and friend. No matter how many times I can fail at something, I somehow still remain motivated to go on in this circle of life.
I remember a quote that I read many years ago and it was something along these lines "Despite the high cost of living, it is still quite popular" author unknown.
Monday, July 19, 2010
10 most unexpected online consequences
Every action has a reaction or a consequence.
Here are, what I believe to be, 10 most unexpected consequences from being online.
1. Getting pornographic spam after clicking a button unknowingly
2. Getting married after "meeting" your soul mate online
3. Connecting with someone that you haven't seen in eons
4. Crashing your PC due to the overload of downloads
5. Having the SAPS or SARS track you down for outstanding fines
6. Someone using your profile photo's and editing them for their own website while giving the world the impression that your pic is them
7. Having a few family members throw out a skeletons / family secrets in response to a comment that you made
8. Having a smooth banking engagement with transfers etc and being happy about it
9. Being poached for a better paying job
10. Buying a jeans that actually fits perfectly
...and these are the things that make life go around.
Here are, what I believe to be, 10 most unexpected consequences from being online.
1. Getting pornographic spam after clicking a button unknowingly
2. Getting married after "meeting" your soul mate online
3. Connecting with someone that you haven't seen in eons
4. Crashing your PC due to the overload of downloads
5. Having the SAPS or SARS track you down for outstanding fines
6. Someone using your profile photo's and editing them for their own website while giving the world the impression that your pic is them
7. Having a few family members throw out a skeletons / family secrets in response to a comment that you made
8. Having a smooth banking engagement with transfers etc and being happy about it
9. Being poached for a better paying job
10. Buying a jeans that actually fits perfectly
...and these are the things that make life go around.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Fan mile salmon
Today was the last World Cup match day in Cape Town and I decided to do my last historical fan mile walk which turned out to be very colourful to say the least.
Thousands of people in bright orange made their way to the stadium, if not to walk the fan mile. Navigation was a tiring experience as I manoeuvred my way (down stream in my case) towards the station. I have a new found respect for these fish that swims upstream against all odds.
In passing the masses, the feeling of camaraderie, smiles, singing and jovial mood was something to remember for a very long time.
With the World Cup practically over I wish that the feeling of safety and South Africa "having it all together" remains.
Thousands of people in bright orange made their way to the stadium, if not to walk the fan mile. Navigation was a tiring experience as I manoeuvred my way (down stream in my case) towards the station. I have a new found respect for these fish that swims upstream against all odds.
In passing the masses, the feeling of camaraderie, smiles, singing and jovial mood was something to remember for a very long time.
With the World Cup practically over I wish that the feeling of safety and South Africa "having it all together" remains.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Whoopeee!!!
A good atmosphere needs to compliment my food and wine. It is definitely a pre-requisite to enjoy spending my hard earned money in exchange for a night of eating in.
Along came an invite for me to go to Madam Zingara and I was over the moon.
I have been wanting to see the new set-up since they were burned down a few years ago. I have heard of the great food, out of this world decor and excellent entertainment.
Again I say "Whoopeee!!!!" at my luck. My current industry does come with a good bit of perks.
Along came an invite for me to go to Madam Zingara and I was over the moon.
I have been wanting to see the new set-up since they were burned down a few years ago. I have heard of the great food, out of this world decor and excellent entertainment.
Again I say "Whoopeee!!!!" at my luck. My current industry does come with a good bit of perks.
During the fan mile
I love the fact that the South African people have shown such great hospitality to the visitors in the country on and off match days. We have been so good that FIFA made us plan B for any future World Cup tournament.
I want to know if this is because almost every match has seen the stadium practically full? I doubt that this has been the case in other countries which means that they made quite a hefty profit from of SA.
I see that Zibbi, the recycling bird caricature, has been resurrected after being quite dead for the last 10 years. Tourist are being given the impression that recycling is common practice in our communities which we know is not the case. Maybe it would be if the currently marked "Zip it or Zap it" bins were a regular occurrence on and off the fan mile.
I wonder if those overnight sprung pedestrian crossings will soon disappear along with the newly sectioned off walk way areas in Waterkant Street. Has anyone seen those automated stop lights in the ground at the major inter-section on your way out of town towards the N1?
I don't mind progress but must it all be an illusion for the visitors and not a daily practice with the local's? Why not show the taxpayer the respect that they deserves instead of taking our tax money and putting on a farce?
I want to know if this is because almost every match has seen the stadium practically full? I doubt that this has been the case in other countries which means that they made quite a hefty profit from of SA.
I see that Zibbi, the recycling bird caricature, has been resurrected after being quite dead for the last 10 years. Tourist are being given the impression that recycling is common practice in our communities which we know is not the case. Maybe it would be if the currently marked "Zip it or Zap it" bins were a regular occurrence on and off the fan mile.
I wonder if those overnight sprung pedestrian crossings will soon disappear along with the newly sectioned off walk way areas in Waterkant Street. Has anyone seen those automated stop lights in the ground at the major inter-section on your way out of town towards the N1?
I don't mind progress but must it all be an illusion for the visitors and not a daily practice with the local's? Why not show the taxpayer the respect that they deserves instead of taking our tax money and putting on a farce?
The elephant in the room
When I walk in a room with lots of people in it, I am faced with a white elephant.
The elephant itself (for me) is the end result of being liked, admired by both men and women, considered intelligent, easy to communicate with and the thought of "we will definitely meet again in the future".
So before I walk into a room with loads of peoples I... open the door, genuinely smile, pull my shoulders back, turn on my sixth sense, ....lights camera...action!
The elephant itself (for me) is the end result of being liked, admired by both men and women, considered intelligent, easy to communicate with and the thought of "we will definitely meet again in the future".
So before I walk into a room with loads of peoples I... open the door, genuinely smile, pull my shoulders back, turn on my sixth sense, ....lights camera...action!
It is finally here
Today I walked the fan mile on my way home on the opening day of the 2010 World Cup.
The atmosphere reminded me of the 1995 Rugby World Cup which some might not even remember. Everyone was greeting everyone else all in smiles. People were just people hyped up for a big game and it all reminded me of Europe. When singing or screaming together the last thing that you noticed (if you did) was the colour of the next person's skin even for if you don't have racial tendencies.
I recorded the first day on my phone as it is an historical event.
Admittedly, I did not hold my breath for Bafana Bafana but those boys showed me a thing or two.
The excitement only got to me at my very own house party and this set the World Cup mood for me.
The atmosphere reminded me of the 1995 Rugby World Cup which some might not even remember. Everyone was greeting everyone else all in smiles. People were just people hyped up for a big game and it all reminded me of Europe. When singing or screaming together the last thing that you noticed (if you did) was the colour of the next person's skin even for if you don't have racial tendencies.
I recorded the first day on my phone as it is an historical event.
Admittedly, I did not hold my breath for Bafana Bafana but those boys showed me a thing or two.
The excitement only got to me at my very own house party and this set the World Cup mood for me.
Every day is a good day
As human beings we tend to lose sight of the fact that there is goodness in our lives on a daily basis.
Appreciation for waking up and being able to see the day is the first blessing. More appreciation can be given to being able to get dressed with no assistance and moving at your own pace. Being able to feed yourself, greeting each family member and going off to work while returning back home to see each family member again makes every day a good day.
We are emotional beings so we have various appreciation levels each day depending on our moods but it's nice to be reminded of the most important things in life now and again.
We don't miss these "basic" accomplishments until of course we don't have them anymore.
Appreciation for waking up and being able to see the day is the first blessing. More appreciation can be given to being able to get dressed with no assistance and moving at your own pace. Being able to feed yourself, greeting each family member and going off to work while returning back home to see each family member again makes every day a good day.
We are emotional beings so we have various appreciation levels each day depending on our moods but it's nice to be reminded of the most important things in life now and again.
We don't miss these "basic" accomplishments until of course we don't have them anymore.
Our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses
I can't agree with this statement.
Your strengths and weaknesses are very much dependent on your situation. If you can take the lead and are very good when working on your own this might help you with strategy and give direction to the project. Diplomacy can be considered a weakness in this instance.
On the other hand when a situation calls for the input of various CEO's each with the business interest at heart being that natural born leader could become the greatest weakness. Here diplomacy is the greatest strength required for negotiations and getting buy-in especially in the case of Unions and company negotiating during strikes.
The situation that you find yourself in and how you deal with it will determine your strengths and weaknesses.
Your strengths and weaknesses are very much dependent on your situation. If you can take the lead and are very good when working on your own this might help you with strategy and give direction to the project. Diplomacy can be considered a weakness in this instance.
On the other hand when a situation calls for the input of various CEO's each with the business interest at heart being that natural born leader could become the greatest weakness. Here diplomacy is the greatest strength required for negotiations and getting buy-in especially in the case of Unions and company negotiating during strikes.
The situation that you find yourself in and how you deal with it will determine your strengths and weaknesses.
Fan mile pre World Cup
When is all of this coming to an end? Government can you please let me know what your intentions are?
For the last 2 - 3 months I've walked pass a restaurant that has had the very same spot tiled with paving, uprooted, tiled with paving, uprooted for a total of seven times. Who gave you the right to hire poor project planners with my money that you demand in taxes?
That is only one of the spots that come to mind. Then you (government) ramble on about the benefits of the world cup blah blah blah.
If the job was done properly the first time then I would have seen a food truck dropping off some supplies at the home which I also walk pass.
How about having come up with a better way to capture rain water in the city and rural areas to somehow manage droughts better?
With all that wasted money I'm sure that phase 1 of project "Saving rain water in the City" could be have been underway by now.
For the last 2 - 3 months I've walked pass a restaurant that has had the very same spot tiled with paving, uprooted, tiled with paving, uprooted for a total of seven times. Who gave you the right to hire poor project planners with my money that you demand in taxes?
That is only one of the spots that come to mind. Then you (government) ramble on about the benefits of the world cup blah blah blah.
If the job was done properly the first time then I would have seen a food truck dropping off some supplies at the home which I also walk pass.
How about having come up with a better way to capture rain water in the city and rural areas to somehow manage droughts better?
With all that wasted money I'm sure that phase 1 of project "Saving rain water in the City" could be have been underway by now.
Try a cliché
References made to the apartheid era have become somewhat of a cliché.
Many of the younger generation have no emotional connection to the suffering of those who grew up in the apartheid area. Today you are not stopped to produce your ID for curfew hour or hit in public for by a clueless person considered to be more superior due to their complexion. Access and the freedom of speech is enjoyed by all.
What I find to be a cliché is when a person meets resistance, they respond by spitting out quotes of respected apartheid "fighters" in order to gain the upper hand.
This I consider to be a cliché of the worst sort. What's worse is that some of the members in government are the number one examples of trying to deflect attention from their wrong doings by insinuating that the struggle for freedom gives them the right to do whatever they want.
They don't mention that the same tactic does not work for you if you are part of the working or middle class because then the law and all it's might applies to you.
Many of the younger generation have no emotional connection to the suffering of those who grew up in the apartheid area. Today you are not stopped to produce your ID for curfew hour or hit in public for by a clueless person considered to be more superior due to their complexion. Access and the freedom of speech is enjoyed by all.
What I find to be a cliché is when a person meets resistance, they respond by spitting out quotes of respected apartheid "fighters" in order to gain the upper hand.
This I consider to be a cliché of the worst sort. What's worse is that some of the members in government are the number one examples of trying to deflect attention from their wrong doings by insinuating that the struggle for freedom gives them the right to do whatever they want.
They don't mention that the same tactic does not work for you if you are part of the working or middle class because then the law and all it's might applies to you.
Can I be human now?
I deserve a break. Why is the holiday taking so long to come around?
I need a break from the pressures of work, family, CPUT and even myself.
I would love to be human for a change and throw the "next I must do ...." because this one or that one's live depends on it.
I want to say hellooo!!! to the child in me and poke out my tongue at the next "brilliant" idea or pretend to enjoy a meeting when doing my washing sounds sooooooo much sexier.
I need to have a miniture nervous break down.
Maybe tomorrow I can be human....I hope. Time will tell.
PS: This is a tribute to current fragility
I need a break from the pressures of work, family, CPUT and even myself.
I would love to be human for a change and throw the "next I must do ...." because this one or that one's live depends on it.
I want to say hellooo!!! to the child in me and poke out my tongue at the next "brilliant" idea or pretend to enjoy a meeting when doing my washing sounds sooooooo much sexier.
I need to have a miniture nervous break down.
Maybe tomorrow I can be human....I hope. Time will tell.
PS: This is a tribute to current fragility
Feelings follow behaviour
I have never thought of phrasing it that way. I have always thought of how your behaviour inspires feelings whether they be good or bad.
Everyday comes with the realisation of how "small" the world is becoming. Clients are now acquainted with family and friends and the line defining business and social gatherings are becoming a blur.
You can't be liked by everyone even when you try to please everyone all the time. I reckon that by having a value system and staying true to them is the best way to live.
That way, when people describe you in their conversation, the conversation hopefully inspires feelings of trust and respect whether the person likes you or not.
Everyday comes with the realisation of how "small" the world is becoming. Clients are now acquainted with family and friends and the line defining business and social gatherings are becoming a blur.
You can't be liked by everyone even when you try to please everyone all the time. I reckon that by having a value system and staying true to them is the best way to live.
That way, when people describe you in their conversation, the conversation hopefully inspires feelings of trust and respect whether the person likes you or not.
Event planning motion
I am always amazed by the amount of planning, nerves, misunderstanding, agreeing and vigilance that goes with organising an event.
An event with the motion as follows:
at the beginning no-one is interested,
doing the work on your own with virtually no support,
creating a successful promotion,
having the event fully booked and then have people clamour for access.
Added to this dealing with rude people and management and placating both successfully is also a big learning curve.
Then, when the successful event is all said and done, it somehow becomes management's cherry to show off. This is the part where you get told that you can't take all the credit, which in all fairness is right as it takes a team of people to execute any event. It would, however, be nice to have the 70% to 30 % interest split from start to finish vs 70% no interest at the beginning and 70% I take the credit at the end.
An event with the motion as follows:
at the beginning no-one is interested,
doing the work on your own with virtually no support,
creating a successful promotion,
having the event fully booked and then have people clamour for access.
Added to this dealing with rude people and management and placating both successfully is also a big learning curve.
Then, when the successful event is all said and done, it somehow becomes management's cherry to show off. This is the part where you get told that you can't take all the credit, which in all fairness is right as it takes a team of people to execute any event. It would, however, be nice to have the 70% to 30 % interest split from start to finish vs 70% no interest at the beginning and 70% I take the credit at the end.
Practicing a little vs talking alot
This zen proverb by Muso Kokushi is relevant in everyday life.
Our trust levels in someone are determined by what they said, did they follow up, did they get it done or implement the idea (very important) and the outcome won't matter too much.
Talking a lot is not a crime if the content is appropriate.
Committing action to the words will win great respect and make your reputation open opportune doors.
Our trust levels in someone are determined by what they said, did they follow up, did they get it done or implement the idea (very important) and the outcome won't matter too much.
Talking a lot is not a crime if the content is appropriate.
Committing action to the words will win great respect and make your reputation open opportune doors.
Women and shop
Ok ok I concede. Women and men do do things differently.
From my various discussions, with both men and women, going to the shop for bread and milk means exactly that for men. They will go into the shop to get bread and milk and walk out of the shop with the bread and milk.
Women on the other hand go to the shop with good intentions. When they see the bread and milk then they think of "what will go on the bread?". At that point in time they add the cheese to basket. The next set of questions follow such as "what about the veggie factor?" and "how do I make it look yummy?" So into the basket goes the lettuce and tomatoes which magically turned into a trolley.
So, if you don't want to eat dry bread with milk thank the women for thinking ahead.
And yes, I concede that women are much smarter than their male counterparts.
From my various discussions, with both men and women, going to the shop for bread and milk means exactly that for men. They will go into the shop to get bread and milk and walk out of the shop with the bread and milk.
Women on the other hand go to the shop with good intentions. When they see the bread and milk then they think of "what will go on the bread?". At that point in time they add the cheese to basket. The next set of questions follow such as "what about the veggie factor?" and "how do I make it look yummy?" So into the basket goes the lettuce and tomatoes which magically turned into a trolley.
So, if you don't want to eat dry bread with milk thank the women for thinking ahead.
And yes, I concede that women are much smarter than their male counterparts.
Wedding cake-in-the-middle-of the road
Note to the reader: This passage is written on the basis of a good and kind world.
Firstly, a big thank you to the person responsible for being so considerate. I appreciated the fact that the cake was in tact and tasted, surprisingly, very good. Not mention that it was a beautiful design.
I gather that the cake was not left their intentionally but whatever circumstances brought it there...it was a product of the universe.
If you don't believe me on how good the cake tasted ask the kids at the orphanage what they thought. The impromptu party was a highlight to some of the kids who have never ever seen a cake or celebrated a party in their entire lives.
Nothing happens without a reason as the saying goes.
Firstly, a big thank you to the person responsible for being so considerate. I appreciated the fact that the cake was in tact and tasted, surprisingly, very good. Not mention that it was a beautiful design.
I gather that the cake was not left their intentionally but whatever circumstances brought it there...it was a product of the universe.
If you don't believe me on how good the cake tasted ask the kids at the orphanage what they thought. The impromptu party was a highlight to some of the kids who have never ever seen a cake or celebrated a party in their entire lives.
Nothing happens without a reason as the saying goes.
Where do I find my say in the matter?
I find it very annoying when I get asked to manage a project. Especially when all the details have already been discussed, promises have been made, perceptions "confirmed" and all of this without me present.
When I step in with the fantastic idea (which I converted to paper and gant charts) and explain why the idea can't work or make certain adjustments because it won't be able to be implemented from a logistical point of view...what do I get?
Aggravation.
I get plain old aggravation when I actually have the clients best interest at heart.
In this case managing a pre-owned project equals annoyance.
When I step in with the fantastic idea (which I converted to paper and gant charts) and explain why the idea can't work or make certain adjustments because it won't be able to be implemented from a logistical point of view...what do I get?
Aggravation.
I get plain old aggravation when I actually have the clients best interest at heart.
In this case managing a pre-owned project equals annoyance.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
It is a poor idea to lie to yourself
Even so how do you stop? I am a bit undecided on this one.
While I agree that lying to yourself or anyone is not very moral, where do you draw the line between a lie and a state of mind?
As an example when you are in a bad mood and you choose to stay very grumpy then you will remain in a bad mood for a longer period of time. In order to change your mood you have to change your state of mind in order to feel happy etc
Then you have the real bad experiences like when someone close to you passes away. After knowing the person for 10 or odd years, it is not just a matter of telling yourself that the person is dead and moving on.
Based on personal experience, it's OK to "lie to yourself" and imagine that the person is still around. For a while this might actually be the best coping mechanism. Added to that, time has a way of bringing you to the reality of the present.
As a coping mechanism this can actually help you deal with the situation better versus blanking out your emotion and having to deal with it in 20 years from now.
While I agree that lying to yourself or anyone is not very moral, where do you draw the line between a lie and a state of mind?
As an example when you are in a bad mood and you choose to stay very grumpy then you will remain in a bad mood for a longer period of time. In order to change your mood you have to change your state of mind in order to feel happy etc
Then you have the real bad experiences like when someone close to you passes away. After knowing the person for 10 or odd years, it is not just a matter of telling yourself that the person is dead and moving on.
Based on personal experience, it's OK to "lie to yourself" and imagine that the person is still around. For a while this might actually be the best coping mechanism. Added to that, time has a way of bringing you to the reality of the present.
As a coping mechanism this can actually help you deal with the situation better versus blanking out your emotion and having to deal with it in 20 years from now.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Costs keep on hiking and...
Electricity is climbing to a total of 46% in June. I must say that cost of living is quite overwhelming. I have yet to see significant changes, that the 2010 white elephant was suppose to bring with it, in the lives of everyday people (including my own) beyond the broken up roads, construction sites and road closures.
At this point in time the world is focused on SA and a "charged" situation, namely Julius Malema and in his case it would be situations. The image that SA is projecting is more negative than positive. Thanks to our so called "leaders".
I heard Raymond Ackerman encouraging people to be positive about the World Cup before his retirement. He based his positive outlook on the improvement of the countries such as Barcelona that had held the World Cup in the past.
What must I believe and who do I believe? Should I stay positive or believe my eyes with regards to what is happening around me?
Was 2010 really such a great idea after all or does the problem lie in the X vote that was made?
At this point in time the world is focused on SA and a "charged" situation, namely Julius Malema and in his case it would be situations. The image that SA is projecting is more negative than positive. Thanks to our so called "leaders".
I heard Raymond Ackerman encouraging people to be positive about the World Cup before his retirement. He based his positive outlook on the improvement of the countries such as Barcelona that had held the World Cup in the past.
What must I believe and who do I believe? Should I stay positive or believe my eyes with regards to what is happening around me?
Was 2010 really such a great idea after all or does the problem lie in the X vote that was made?
The sound of one person's hands clapping...
Can mean the world to anyone and everyone.
Imagine how it can build courage when a baby takes their first step on their own or when you can take the first step without a crutch. Imagine what an encouragement it is for the person, scared of swimming, taking the plunge into cold water instead of just dipping their toes or the elation that it gives someone who has passed a nerve wracking test.
Yes, the power of encouragement can be done with one set of hands.
Truly amazing isn't it?
Imagine how it can build courage when a baby takes their first step on their own or when you can take the first step without a crutch. Imagine what an encouragement it is for the person, scared of swimming, taking the plunge into cold water instead of just dipping their toes or the elation that it gives someone who has passed a nerve wracking test.
Yes, the power of encouragement can be done with one set of hands.
Truly amazing isn't it?
Is it worth it?
Manic deadlines, finishing one project, having two projects overlap, difficult clients, racing to the next meeting, forgetting to eat, maintaining integrity on all discussions .....and why am I volunteering to do all of this?
Simply because it came with the job. Simply because this was my vision of a successful person. Simply because my mistakes have to become my kids benchmark and simply because I hold onto the hope of better reimbursement.
Still I seem to wonder if the "perks" of the job is all worth it.
Simply because it came with the job. Simply because this was my vision of a successful person. Simply because my mistakes have to become my kids benchmark and simply because I hold onto the hope of better reimbursement.
Still I seem to wonder if the "perks" of the job is all worth it.
No all who wander are lost
Not a very inspiring phrase I must say. Thanks J.R.R. Tolkien for your quote.
Then again this must have been the best thing that happened to him. By getting lost in his imagination this English writer and author managed to create The Lord of the Rings fantasy. A film which raked in quite a bit of profit for the producers and actors.
Proof, once again that if you step off that 100 foot pole, amazing things can come your way.
Letting the mind go to explore dreams and new ways of thinking might actually mean that "Not all those who wonder are lost" and sometimes they do get rich, very rich.
Then again this must have been the best thing that happened to him. By getting lost in his imagination this English writer and author managed to create The Lord of the Rings fantasy. A film which raked in quite a bit of profit for the producers and actors.
Proof, once again that if you step off that 100 foot pole, amazing things can come your way.
Letting the mind go to explore dreams and new ways of thinking might actually mean that "Not all those who wonder are lost" and sometimes they do get rich, very rich.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Easter Weekend - 360 degrees
Looking back on this Easter Weekend, things seemed different and in many ways they were. I heard of a few families that did not have pickle fish (by choice) and it did not seem to matter.
While growing up, I remember fish being such an integral part of celebrating Jesus’ resurrection. It was as though no meat existed over this time period but things have changed.
Whether it's good or bad I'm not sure, but my daughter’s excitement with all the Easter eggs and bunnies was quite infectious. One thing that I'm grateful for is the time that I could spend with my family and that was the most important thing.
At least seeing special occasions through the eyes of a child helps to keep the excitement going. Even if things are done differently, family time is still an important factor.
While growing up, I remember fish being such an integral part of celebrating Jesus’ resurrection. It was as though no meat existed over this time period but things have changed.
Whether it's good or bad I'm not sure, but my daughter’s excitement with all the Easter eggs and bunnies was quite infectious. One thing that I'm grateful for is the time that I could spend with my family and that was the most important thing.
At least seeing special occasions through the eyes of a child helps to keep the excitement going. Even if things are done differently, family time is still an important factor.
Never growing up
I still love watching cartoons. There I said it.
I love watching the colours come to life, that good can still overcome evil and the happy endings.
It's the best way to relax. Where you don't have to do anything and where doing nothing is also not a form of a response to some e-mail, phone call, meeting request...and I'm tensing up already.
It's the easiest way of getting messages across to children and surprisingly, I get to learn a thing or two. I can't wait to watch another good animation.
I love watching the colours come to life, that good can still overcome evil and the happy endings.
It's the best way to relax. Where you don't have to do anything and where doing nothing is also not a form of a response to some e-mail, phone call, meeting request...and I'm tensing up already.
It's the easiest way of getting messages across to children and surprisingly, I get to learn a thing or two. I can't wait to watch another good animation.
How do you step off the top of a 100-foot pole?
My first reaction being...no-one in their right minds would.
I can't leave it at that so I did a bit of research on the question and voila! It turns out that "How do you step off the top of a 100-foot pole" is a a story from Zen literature.
The poem that goes with this question says: "You who sit on the top of a 100 foot pole. Although you have entered the Way, it is not yet genuine Take a step from the top of the pole And the entire world becomes your body".
Simply put, when you are tired of facing life and its challenges, your body is busy sinking, longing for a rest and your brain refuses to even think up any form of hope...that is the time to get up and get back to completing that assignment, ignore the critics and know that you can do it. If not now, you will eventually. Just keep at it like Thomas Edison, Micheal Jordan, Abraham Lincoln, Walt Disney etc
It's all about shaking off the comfort zone and living life at every turn. Maybe I should forget about having a right mind and rather do things right. Here I gooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh!
I can't leave it at that so I did a bit of research on the question and voila! It turns out that "How do you step off the top of a 100-foot pole" is a a story from Zen literature.
The poem that goes with this question says: "You who sit on the top of a 100 foot pole. Although you have entered the Way, it is not yet genuine Take a step from the top of the pole And the entire world becomes your body".
Simply put, when you are tired of facing life and its challenges, your body is busy sinking, longing for a rest and your brain refuses to even think up any form of hope...that is the time to get up and get back to completing that assignment, ignore the critics and know that you can do it. If not now, you will eventually. Just keep at it like Thomas Edison, Micheal Jordan, Abraham Lincoln, Walt Disney etc
It's all about shaking off the comfort zone and living life at every turn. Maybe I should forget about having a right mind and rather do things right. Here I gooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh!
Monday, April 5, 2010
...and the award for worst experience goes to
...building, renovating, drawing up plans and first and foremost City Council.
Anyone who has ever done structural work to their property will know that it is one of the worst experiences ever. Where stress is concerned, its point system is off the charts placing it into a league of it's own.
Building, I believe, even has its own emotional phases.
1 Honeymoon - dreaming of how this will look after the renovations
2 Denial - I can deal with the packing and the dust and the company arriving late for work on my property
3 Anger - at the "but it's going to cost you more because"
4 Threats - If you don't get off my property I'm calling my...!
5 Bargaining - Yes, what else do you need so that the job can be completed by today?
6 Hopeful - I'm not expecting anyone today, even though I have a 7m hole for a garden!
If you need to build some character, test your limitations and your patience give by building a try.
Anyone who has ever done structural work to their property will know that it is one of the worst experiences ever. Where stress is concerned, its point system is off the charts placing it into a league of it's own.
Building, I believe, even has its own emotional phases.
1 Honeymoon - dreaming of how this will look after the renovations
2 Denial - I can deal with the packing and the dust and the company arriving late for work on my property
3 Anger - at the "but it's going to cost you more because"
4 Threats - If you don't get off my property I'm calling my...!
5 Bargaining - Yes, what else do you need so that the job can be completed by today?
6 Hopeful - I'm not expecting anyone today, even though I have a 7m hole for a garden!
If you need to build some character, test your limitations and your patience give by building a try.
Inspiration
Where can it be found? How do you even begin searching for it?
Oh I've heard about the external elements that encourages the yin and the yang for inspiration. I've heard the experts say go green, add a dash of colour here, move a plant there, try to bring the light in and whatever you do don't forget the crystals.
Realistically speaking, I think that we all hit a void now and again. When all that you see in your minds eye is a black void. Disappointingly so, especially when you don't need it.
It's at these moments when colour means something completely different to me. I see colour in the form of yellow succulent fruits, ripe oranges, fiery cocktails, moving the light means to move the fire in order to grill a steak to perfection and the crystal... well.
There is no better inspiration than the combination of good food and wine and it will get anyone talking...so that I can get inspired.
Oh I've heard about the external elements that encourages the yin and the yang for inspiration. I've heard the experts say go green, add a dash of colour here, move a plant there, try to bring the light in and whatever you do don't forget the crystals.
Realistically speaking, I think that we all hit a void now and again. When all that you see in your minds eye is a black void. Disappointingly so, especially when you don't need it.
It's at these moments when colour means something completely different to me. I see colour in the form of yellow succulent fruits, ripe oranges, fiery cocktails, moving the light means to move the fire in order to grill a steak to perfection and the crystal... well.
There is no better inspiration than the combination of good food and wine and it will get anyone talking...so that I can get inspired.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Culture or literature suicide
Everyday I see the shock of the daily community papers which can be purchased for under R3. I happen to glance at it while travelling on the train and the sensationalism and language termed "Cape flats" that I notice makes me feel a number of things. Anger is the first one that comes to mind followed by a great sadness.
What will become of our children who view this material as their only source of information? Our teenagers already survive on a form of short hand while they are on MIXT and lose the English language in the process. We already live in a world of fear, mostly created by the media, so what will happen to the mental state of the people reading everyday?
I'm all for the exposure of the truth but the picture of a dead baby, or body parts lying on a highway on the front page.... is that the face of truth? If it is, who decided on it?
Yes, I've heard people saying "but the newspaper caters for us". Who is this us? Is it the term coloured, black or white that was given to a certain group of people under a regime that should never have happened?
Admittedly, I do admire the headline producers for their wit but can we give our children a better benchmark to view life with? It all very simply starts with proper English.
What will become of our children who view this material as their only source of information? Our teenagers already survive on a form of short hand while they are on MIXT and lose the English language in the process. We already live in a world of fear, mostly created by the media, so what will happen to the mental state of the people reading everyday?
I'm all for the exposure of the truth but the picture of a dead baby, or body parts lying on a highway on the front page.... is that the face of truth? If it is, who decided on it?
Yes, I've heard people saying "but the newspaper caters for us". Who is this us? Is it the term coloured, black or white that was given to a certain group of people under a regime that should never have happened?
Admittedly, I do admire the headline producers for their wit but can we give our children a better benchmark to view life with? It all very simply starts with proper English.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Towing trust
Towing a vehicle is one of my all time lows. After numerous conversations with a few women on the topic, it seems as though men were born to do this and they expect it to be second nature to any driver. At least that is the impression that we got from the guys that were towing us.
This, however, is the one thing that has me crying in a foetal position knowing that towing the vehicle is the only way home.
Even so, I had a huge revelation on one of my latest towing adventures (the 3rd to be exact). While my leg was shaking on the brakes, back bent over the steering wheel, hand gripping the hand breaks and my eyes glued to the left rear view mirror of the car towing me, I anticipated every signal coming from the driver ahead.
What I learnt, after accepting my fate, is that I had no choice but to enjoy the ride. I never lost sight of any given signal up ahead which made things easier. Third, no matter how great the urge to step on the break, under normal circumstances I have a different reflex response to a red robot, I kept on telling myself DON'T DO IT! The pressure of not splitting the car in two was enormous.
The feeling of helplessness is quite frightening but once I consoled myself to being led (in a good way) I discovered that the ability to be led is as important as leading when the situations call for it. We are taught to be leaders, stand out etc but life calls for a different response in every situations. In my case it was a matter of adapting and doing what was necessary at the time.
This, however, is the one thing that has me crying in a foetal position knowing that towing the vehicle is the only way home.
Even so, I had a huge revelation on one of my latest towing adventures (the 3rd to be exact). While my leg was shaking on the brakes, back bent over the steering wheel, hand gripping the hand breaks and my eyes glued to the left rear view mirror of the car towing me, I anticipated every signal coming from the driver ahead.
What I learnt, after accepting my fate, is that I had no choice but to enjoy the ride. I never lost sight of any given signal up ahead which made things easier. Third, no matter how great the urge to step on the break, under normal circumstances I have a different reflex response to a red robot, I kept on telling myself DON'T DO IT! The pressure of not splitting the car in two was enormous.
The feeling of helplessness is quite frightening but once I consoled myself to being led (in a good way) I discovered that the ability to be led is as important as leading when the situations call for it. We are taught to be leaders, stand out etc but life calls for a different response in every situations. In my case it was a matter of adapting and doing what was necessary at the time.
We are what we do
Maybe not.
In South Africa people generally have various respect levels for various jobs. A person sweeping the streets has the job title "Street sweeper" and it could be viewed as one of the least respected jobs. What happens when a street sweeper is associated with being a failur or having a low IQ etc all of which are terrible assumptions. These hardworking people are ridiculed and for what... making an honest living?
Maybe what we are, are the characteristics reflected in our work delivery. Traits such as passion for the final product/event/release and /or the internal newsletter. Having pride in what we do.
What if someone actually loved sweeping the street and they feel good about doing their bit for the environment and their country? Does it mean that they have no self respect for choosing a job "ranking" very low on the list of "most desired positions"?
According to an article in Time Magazine Online, 1963 a president has 6 qualities some of which are self restraint and inner calmness. Are these the characteristics reflected in the actions of Julius Malema as president of the ANC Youth League?
Is he what he is suppose to do?
References:
Time Magazine. 1963. Nation: SIX QUALITIES THAT MAKE A PRESIDENT. http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,874810,00.html [29 March 2010]
In South Africa people generally have various respect levels for various jobs. A person sweeping the streets has the job title "Street sweeper" and it could be viewed as one of the least respected jobs. What happens when a street sweeper is associated with being a failur or having a low IQ etc all of which are terrible assumptions. These hardworking people are ridiculed and for what... making an honest living?
Maybe what we are, are the characteristics reflected in our work delivery. Traits such as passion for the final product/event/release and /or the internal newsletter. Having pride in what we do.
What if someone actually loved sweeping the street and they feel good about doing their bit for the environment and their country? Does it mean that they have no self respect for choosing a job "ranking" very low on the list of "most desired positions"?
According to an article in Time Magazine Online, 1963 a president has 6 qualities some of which are self restraint and inner calmness. Are these the characteristics reflected in the actions of Julius Malema as president of the ANC Youth League?
Is he what he is suppose to do?
References:
Time Magazine. 1963. Nation: SIX QUALITIES THAT MAKE A PRESIDENT. http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,874810,00.html [29 March 2010]
We are afraid of the wrong things.
Fear of the unknown, fear of shaking up a comfort zone, fear of what others will think, say or do and fear of being noticed or on the other hand not being noticed at all. Quite frankly it (fear) has caused 95% of my stress in lots of situations.
I saw a TV doctor address this issue with the question "What if?" with "what if it does and then?" In playing the game to these energy draining questions a certain clarity follows and I always think "Why did it take me so long to ....?"
Writing about it is so easy but addressing the fear on a daily basis is quite another story. It's no good feeling sorry for yourself either....so here goes nothing... I'll start opening my eyes to look at the "boogyman" one bigger squint at a time and let's see what happens.
I saw a TV doctor address this issue with the question "What if?" with "what if it does and then?" In playing the game to these energy draining questions a certain clarity follows and I always think "Why did it take me so long to ....?"
Writing about it is so easy but addressing the fear on a daily basis is quite another story. It's no good feeling sorry for yourself either....so here goes nothing... I'll start opening my eyes to look at the "boogyman" one bigger squint at a time and let's see what happens.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Fish falling from the sky
Here comes an opportunity in the form of crumbed fish,tuna,swordfish, lemon and herb hake, fish fingers, fish cakes and I even see crayfish and prawns in the mix. Bring me the lease papers for that new restaurant situated on a busy corner along with the dotted line for the next fisheries that will give I&J a run for their money....
Aah what a great change can come with opportunity?
Question is do all of us have this opportunity coming to our door and if it does is it recognisable?
Right now I'll make the most of my daily catches and in doing so prepare my nets with knowledge and skills to catch that fish monsoon when it comes...and believe me it's coming.
Aah what a great change can come with opportunity?
Question is do all of us have this opportunity coming to our door and if it does is it recognisable?
Right now I'll make the most of my daily catches and in doing so prepare my nets with knowledge and skills to catch that fish monsoon when it comes...and believe me it's coming.
What is the colour of the wind?
It really depends on the mood that you are in. Imagine walking along a lane where huge trees form an arch covering the path with shade. It's a sunny day outside and all your senses are tuned in to appreciate natures company and the perfect whisper of a breeze that is kissing your face. The colour of the wind in this case is a warm golden yellow as it is moderately warm and adds to the feeling of peace and contentment. The perfect day, the perfect feeling.
On the other hand when I'm jogging and battling to inhale as much of this oxygenated wind as possible; it is red. The colour of pain as my lungs are bursting out of their seams, due to lack of fitness, working overtime.
Personally, I love the wind whether I'm happy or when it stings my cheeks with coldness when I'm sad.
The colour of the wind depends on the individuals mood whatever that might be.
On the other hand when I'm jogging and battling to inhale as much of this oxygenated wind as possible; it is red. The colour of pain as my lungs are bursting out of their seams, due to lack of fitness, working overtime.
Personally, I love the wind whether I'm happy or when it stings my cheeks with coldness when I'm sad.
The colour of the wind depends on the individuals mood whatever that might be.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
If I were the boss...
There would be more trust in my employees capability of doing tasks. I will communicate the deadlines but expect people to be able complete the tasks. Are people not hired for their abilities and experience or have I missed the boat completely?
A culture of respect and dedication for the job will run rampant in the company mainly because I will be setting the example and invite participation from the staff members. People will be compensated accordingly for a job well done and actually feel as though they are contributing to the bigger picture. A picture which has all the internal members buy-in which is then communicated back to all involved. I can go on and on about my shining example of being a boss but the bottom line, the all important thing that will be done is....
Acknowledging colleagues by greeting them and in doing so acknowledge that they form part of a bigger picture - the company's excellence.
A culture of respect and dedication for the job will run rampant in the company mainly because I will be setting the example and invite participation from the staff members. People will be compensated accordingly for a job well done and actually feel as though they are contributing to the bigger picture. A picture which has all the internal members buy-in which is then communicated back to all involved. I can go on and on about my shining example of being a boss but the bottom line, the all important thing that will be done is....
Acknowledging colleagues by greeting them and in doing so acknowledge that they form part of a bigger picture - the company's excellence.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Two men walk out of a building...
Mike: What did you think of that meeting
Dan: Seems like there is a lot of work to be done. I'm hoping that it will align the company's strategy with the expected output. It's looks promising. What are you doing over the weekend?
Mike: Having a braai with friends and a few beers
Dan: Me too... enjoy and see you on Monday then?
Mike: Yes you too. See you then
At the very same time two women who were in the same meeting came out of the building as well
Jean: What did you think of that meeting? It was hectic with so many changes coming up don't you think?
Paula: I know what you mean. What did you think of the new manager? I think he will be able to marry up the company's goals and help us see changes in the profits? Besides he is quite cute and if anything he will at least be something to look at...laughter
Jean: I think so but we'll have to wait and see, but what are you doing for the weekend
Paula: I have a list of 20 things that need to be done and as an example ....
Jean: Yes my life seems even crazier over the weekend that I actually need another break from it.
The conversation goes on for 5 more pages ending on
Jean: Have a good one and I'll see you on Monday
Paula: Yes you too. See you then
The moral of this story is that we all have similar concerns, aspirations, goals etc in common but we have different ways of communicating them. Some need less words compared to others. Even so should we not respect the different ways in which we all express oyrselves?
Dan: Seems like there is a lot of work to be done. I'm hoping that it will align the company's strategy with the expected output. It's looks promising. What are you doing over the weekend?
Mike: Having a braai with friends and a few beers
Dan: Me too... enjoy and see you on Monday then?
Mike: Yes you too. See you then
At the very same time two women who were in the same meeting came out of the building as well
Jean: What did you think of that meeting? It was hectic with so many changes coming up don't you think?
Paula: I know what you mean. What did you think of the new manager? I think he will be able to marry up the company's goals and help us see changes in the profits? Besides he is quite cute and if anything he will at least be something to look at...laughter
Jean: I think so but we'll have to wait and see, but what are you doing for the weekend
Paula: I have a list of 20 things that need to be done and as an example ....
Jean: Yes my life seems even crazier over the weekend that I actually need another break from it.
The conversation goes on for 5 more pages ending on
Jean: Have a good one and I'll see you on Monday
Paula: Yes you too. See you then
The moral of this story is that we all have similar concerns, aspirations, goals etc in common but we have different ways of communicating them. Some need less words compared to others. Even so should we not respect the different ways in which we all express oyrselves?
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Empathy
Is it not amazing how we tend to think "I would have handled the situation better" or "how childish is this person, was it really necessary to perform like that?" when
we witness someone else throwing their toys out of the cot? These prime "tantrum" spots being at the airport ticket booth, the till point in the shop when returning an item that was bought, on the phone with Telkom, Eskom, Vodacom the bank and the list goes on and on with the same statement; "I want to speak to a manager.."
We would always have done it differently, said something better and (lets face it) be more adult about it if we were in the same situation. Then of course this is all theory... until it happens to us and the injustice of the situation gives us great gifts of hindsight, empathy and the strange ability to be less judgemental of others. Wisdom comes to us in the words or thoughts of "Now I understand why..."
Maybe we should re look at our moral / ego benchmark which is quite difficult when we are expected to be right whenever we attempt to speak at work, at home, even during play and when you don't know something you have to "wing" it. As an example where are the days of having empathy for the new staff member. For the most part the newbie has to be up and running with 12 years of experience after the introductory week and don't be silly to ask questions like "how do I" or "where can I find". The answers might resemble a hypocritical smirk or the look - "for crying out loud how can you not know?" This comes from an employee that works for the company for 5 years.
Can it be that we have become so programmed to think:
making a mistake = stupid
don't know (due to lack of experience) = stupid
asking questions = cringe because you are definitely not a rough diamond
Maybe we can all re look at our tolerance levels when we are witness to the next "toys thrown out of the cot" session?
we witness someone else throwing their toys out of the cot? These prime "tantrum" spots being at the airport ticket booth, the till point in the shop when returning an item that was bought, on the phone with Telkom, Eskom, Vodacom the bank and the list goes on and on with the same statement; "I want to speak to a manager.."
We would always have done it differently, said something better and (lets face it) be more adult about it if we were in the same situation. Then of course this is all theory... until it happens to us and the injustice of the situation gives us great gifts of hindsight, empathy and the strange ability to be less judgemental of others. Wisdom comes to us in the words or thoughts of "Now I understand why..."
Maybe we should re look at our moral / ego benchmark which is quite difficult when we are expected to be right whenever we attempt to speak at work, at home, even during play and when you don't know something you have to "wing" it. As an example where are the days of having empathy for the new staff member. For the most part the newbie has to be up and running with 12 years of experience after the introductory week and don't be silly to ask questions like "how do I" or "where can I find". The answers might resemble a hypocritical smirk or the look - "for crying out loud how can you not know?" This comes from an employee that works for the company for 5 years.
Can it be that we have become so programmed to think:
making a mistake = stupid
don't know (due to lack of experience) = stupid
asking questions = cringe because you are definitely not a rough diamond
Maybe we can all re look at our tolerance levels when we are witness to the next "toys thrown out of the cot" session?
Monday, February 15, 2010
Designer PR
PR, by nature, should have attributes such as trustworthiness, credibility, accountability and the processes that make provision for implementation and feedback from top management to the administrators / labourers and back up the communication pyramid again.
Yet these very attributes, the "haute couture" of PR that should be tailor made to suit the company's needs, are what organisations are still trying to master.
There could be a number of reasons why so many companies / PR professionals have not succeeded in mastering these attributes. One of them might be because PR is not viewed as a strategic role within most companies. The profession finds itself forming part of the marketing division ready to conjure up a press release at a managers request.
Also when investing in good relations:
1. It costs money and during the lean times the budget for PR, sometimes considered as marketing, is thrown out the door
2. Understand the vision of the company and developing well defined standards can be a time consuming investment. Communicating this understanding and / or "spirit" of the organisation to both internal and external stakeholders demands that a vast amount of attention be spent on the details of managing and/or maintaining perceptions.
PR (I believe) is a misunderstood role and the challenge lies in having to educate companies about the value that the profession can bring to any organisation. To illustrate think of what fashion icon Ralph Lauren could do to a clothing store on a street corner?
It's not just about the clothes but about communicating the importance / valuable attributes of the brand.
Yet these very attributes, the "haute couture" of PR that should be tailor made to suit the company's needs, are what organisations are still trying to master.
There could be a number of reasons why so many companies / PR professionals have not succeeded in mastering these attributes. One of them might be because PR is not viewed as a strategic role within most companies. The profession finds itself forming part of the marketing division ready to conjure up a press release at a managers request.
Also when investing in good relations:
1. It costs money and during the lean times the budget for PR, sometimes considered as marketing, is thrown out the door
2. Understand the vision of the company and developing well defined standards can be a time consuming investment. Communicating this understanding and / or "spirit" of the organisation to both internal and external stakeholders demands that a vast amount of attention be spent on the details of managing and/or maintaining perceptions.
PR (I believe) is a misunderstood role and the challenge lies in having to educate companies about the value that the profession can bring to any organisation. To illustrate think of what fashion icon Ralph Lauren could do to a clothing store on a street corner?
It's not just about the clothes but about communicating the importance / valuable attributes of the brand.
Birthdays
Admittedly I love birthday's along with Christmas and any other occasion that brings the family together. Lately I've been wondering about why we only celebrate these momentous birthday occasions over a one day period. (We will leave the wrinkles and the scale out of this conversation)
Some birthdays such as turning sweet 16, your 21st and the big three zero (30) has a big planning session that goes with it for most of us but why are we not treating the in-betweens with as much excitement?
After all, every year we make it through 1-10 learning curves, have some fantastic / momentous achievements along with all the good and bad hair and clothing days in-between. In actual fact we make it through a cycle of 365 days!
So for making it through this great feat should we not get to celebrate every birthday over a minimum of 3-5 days? It does not have to be about making the malls richer but we should be basking in the feeling of "yeah, I made it" for a longer period of time.
I recently witnessed a 2 year old celebrating her birthday over 5 days (can you believe it?). This is how it went:
Day 1: She was treated to balloons and singing when the clock struck 12 on her special day followed by a colourful party, gifts and well wishes for the entire day
Day 2: More gifts and family time
Day 3: Spending some time away with the family
Day 4: A scenic view of Cape Town (this because she said she wanted to see the "mountain table"
Day 5: More time with family at a farm in Franshoek
We should all be so lucky and here's the thing, we can all be this lucky by taking turns in making loved ones and the important people in our lives feel special during their birthday period. Not to be too optimistic, some people might return the favour while others will take a bit longer to catch on but the memories of good times is a lifetime investment don't you think?
Some birthdays such as turning sweet 16, your 21st and the big three zero (30) has a big planning session that goes with it for most of us but why are we not treating the in-betweens with as much excitement?
After all, every year we make it through 1-10 learning curves, have some fantastic / momentous achievements along with all the good and bad hair and clothing days in-between. In actual fact we make it through a cycle of 365 days!
So for making it through this great feat should we not get to celebrate every birthday over a minimum of 3-5 days? It does not have to be about making the malls richer but we should be basking in the feeling of "yeah, I made it" for a longer period of time.
I recently witnessed a 2 year old celebrating her birthday over 5 days (can you believe it?). This is how it went:
Day 1: She was treated to balloons and singing when the clock struck 12 on her special day followed by a colourful party, gifts and well wishes for the entire day
Day 2: More gifts and family time
Day 3: Spending some time away with the family
Day 4: A scenic view of Cape Town (this because she said she wanted to see the "mountain table"
Day 5: More time with family at a farm in Franshoek
We should all be so lucky and here's the thing, we can all be this lucky by taking turns in making loved ones and the important people in our lives feel special during their birthday period. Not to be too optimistic, some people might return the favour while others will take a bit longer to catch on but the memories of good times is a lifetime investment don't you think?
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Is polygamy a feminist issue?
Yes it is. According to the dictionary a feminist is "a person who believes in equal rights for women."
Polygamy, on the other hand, is a practice that allows a man to have a number of wives. It is a custom that has been practiced for hundreds if not thousand of years in a number of countries. To date this custom does not allow the female of the species the same "privileges" as their male counterparts. This practice dictates that women should remain married only to one husband.
Whether we agree to this practice or not, women still do accept these marriage proposals willingly as it is a welcoming practice in various cultures. Others view it very negatively as polygamy has seen it's fair share of males in search of domestic slaves or a means to gain wealth.
There are so many issues around the practice of polygamy but in answer to the question, polygamy is definitely a feminist issue because it is not practiced equally by both men and women.
Polygamy, on the other hand, is a practice that allows a man to have a number of wives. It is a custom that has been practiced for hundreds if not thousand of years in a number of countries. To date this custom does not allow the female of the species the same "privileges" as their male counterparts. This practice dictates that women should remain married only to one husband.
Whether we agree to this practice or not, women still do accept these marriage proposals willingly as it is a welcoming practice in various cultures. Others view it very negatively as polygamy has seen it's fair share of males in search of domestic slaves or a means to gain wealth.
There are so many issues around the practice of polygamy but in answer to the question, polygamy is definitely a feminist issue because it is not practiced equally by both men and women.
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